Happy Publication Day – 29 February 2026

We Never Have Sex Any More By Julia Jones

Lottie and Theo have it all – except it.

Lottie and Theo are definitely happily married: deeply in love, beautiful house, two adorable puppies… except that after seven years together, the only action they’re having in the bedroom is Netflix marathons. Why has every night become ‘not tonight’?

Frustrated in more ways than one, Lottie drunkenly calls in to her favourite podcast (The Cliterati) to let off some steam. But her anonymous rant goes viral, with thousands of women replying with tales of their own long-term relationships going limp and floppy.

Now everyone is trying to unmask the ‘horny wife’, the podcast agency make Lottie an offer which could change her life. The only problem is… Lottie still hasn’t told Theo about her confession. How on earth can Lottie admit to her husband that they could be famous – for being sexless?

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